HIT MAN

Have fun with some jokes. Just make sure they are not racist, topless, or too offensive. As you can see we are pretty liberal on what is allowed just don't get offended if you push the envelope and something gets deleted. ;-)

Moderators: E_, LC addict, FasterThanYou, crwky

Post Reply
User avatar
Nervous Wreck
MASTER MEMBER
Posts: 1421
Joined: Thu Nov 06, 2008 7:50 am
Marina/Ramp: old Alli-1
Location: Enon,Oh.

HIT MAN

Post by Nervous Wreck »

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them…

"Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't show up."

"Sure," they said, "You're welcome."

So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer.

Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "what do you do for a living?"

"I'm a hit man," was the reply.

"You're joking!" was the response.

"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight.

"Here are my tools."

"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."

So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.

"Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window."

"Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!!
Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her..... He's naked, too!!"

He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"

"I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."

"Can you do two for me now?"

"Sure, what do you want?"

"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth."

"Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson."

The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.

"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.

"Just be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here..."
User avatar
E_
Site Admin
Posts: 14802
Joined: Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:26 pm
Marina/Ramp: Currently mostly out of Jamestown but spend a lot of time at the other Marinas.

Pre2012-Conley Bottom Mostly, Waitsboro, Alligator I&II ramps, Leesford, Pulaski County Park (when it has water), Grider, State Dock (via boat), and Jamestown are a few places you might find me.
Location: Kentucky (Lake Cumberland)
Contact:

Re: HIT MAN

Post by E_ »

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Buy American, the job you save just might be your own.
User avatar
re3too
MASTER MEMBER
Posts: 5211
Joined: Sat Oct 25, 2008 11:30 am
Location: FL

Re: HIT MAN

Post by re3too »

I have no idea what ya'll are talkin' about! O:-) O:-)
"The language of friendship is not words but meaning." (Henry David Thoreau)
User avatar
Nervous Wreck
MASTER MEMBER
Posts: 1421
Joined: Thu Nov 06, 2008 7:50 am
Marina/Ramp: old Alli-1
Location: Enon,Oh.

Re: HIT MAN

Post by Nervous Wreck »

re3too wrote:I have no idea what ya'll are talkin' about! O:-) O:-)
Yeah...right! :))
Post Reply

Return to “Jokes and other hooey fooey”