A few funnies

[$parechange]

1.

WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T

fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked

intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.

Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.



2.

WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS.
Police

in Oakland , CA , spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who

had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas

canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them

in the police line, shouting, 'Please come out and give yourself

up.'



3.

WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist

and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines,

wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank

accounts!


4.

THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka , Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all

the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so

he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three

hours until police showed up and grabbed him.



5.

DID I SAY THAT???
Police

in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't

control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the

lineup to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or I'll shoot',

the man shouted, 'that's not what I said!'



6.

ARE WE COMMUNICATING???
A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife is pregnant and

her contractions are only two minutes apart'.
'Is

this her first child?' the doctor asked. 'No!' the man shouted, 'This

is her husband!'





7.

NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!
In

Modesto , CA , Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up

a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a

finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in

his pocket. (hellooooooo)!


8.

THE GRAND FINALE!!!
Last

summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert an hour east

of Bakersfield, CA, some folks new to boating, were having a problem.

No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22

foot boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no

matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to

make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there

may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check

revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine,

the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size

and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check

underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so

hard.
NOW

REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.
Under the boat, still strapped securely

in place, was the trailer!